we have officially lost it.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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