There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Randomize
