two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
