He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize