Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
