the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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