if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
