Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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