He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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