okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
bring money and cleavage
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize