How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
