what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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