just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
