Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
