I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize