I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You took a bar mat shot.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
