Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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