Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
