this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
