haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize