That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
