I'm sorry my penis didn't work
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
