your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
