he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
