You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
