This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
