perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Two words: blizzard sex
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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