It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
