Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize