I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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