I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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