so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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