smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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