of course. lets lasso hookers.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
