i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
