i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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