Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
