At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
