Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize