I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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