I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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