i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize