I'll bet she douches with gravy.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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