And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
