Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i need some magic done to my vagina
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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