I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
