we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
