he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
