Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
