She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
