she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
it glows. i had to have it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So much rum. So many feels.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize