hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
