is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
