Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
