Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
