I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
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