haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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