I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
kristin has been a bad kristin
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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