yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
